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<!--Generated by Squarespace Site Server v5.9.2 (http://www.squarespace.com/) on Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:33:20 GMT--><rdf:RDF xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:rss="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:admin="http://webns.net/mvcb/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:cc="http://web.resource.org/cc/"><rss:channel rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/"><rss:title>Movie and Film Reviews</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/</rss:link><rss:description></rss:description><dc:language>en-US</dc:language><dc:date>2010-03-12T12:33:20Z</dc:date><admin:generatorAgent rdf:resource="http://www.squarespace.com/">Squarespace Site Server v5.9.2 (http://www.squarespace.com/)</admin:generatorAgent><rss:items><rdf:Seq><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/9/alice-in-wonderland.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/5/the-horseman.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/2/bitch-slap.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/1/from-paris-with-love.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/26/legion.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/24/a-single-man.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/4/ninja-assassin.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/21/the-book-of-eli.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/11/sherlock-holmes.html"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/6/blood-the-last-vampire.html"/></rdf:Seq></rss:items></rss:channel><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/9/alice-in-wonderland.html"><rss:title>Alice In Wonderland</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/9/alice-in-wonderland.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-03-09T18:47:46Z</dc:date><dc:subject>3D Adventure Alice In Wonderland Family Fantasy Johnny Depp Tim Burton</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Falice_in_wonderland_poster_mad_hatter.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1268160958438',400,267);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-6069867-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1268160961433" alt="" /></a></span></span>Why is it that every 3D film is so popular that it takes ages to seat everyone and they keep the sound down and lights up for the fucking trailers. I look forward to seeing those trailers on the big screen especially in 3D. But you can't see shit with the lights on. Start letting people in earlier you twats so I can watch the trailers in peace.</p>
<p>Right. Alice in 3D from Tim Burton - on paper that alone means this film will be awesome. Unluckily it wasn't to be so. It's a shame because I'm a big Tim Burton fan and don't think he's done much wrong really in the past, but this film is a real let down.</p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/5/the-horseman.html"><rss:title>The Horseman</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/5/the-horseman.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-03-05T08:58:34Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Foreign Fucked Up Horror Independent Peter Marshall Steven Kastrissos The Horseman Thriller</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Fhorsemanposter2.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1267782183638',500,337);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-6015941-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1267782187008" alt="" /></a></span></span>It's fucking Friday so I thought what better way to start the weekend than with a review of nasty Austrailian revenge flick The Horseman. Before I get started I thought I'd show the sypnosis that's on IMDB. "A tender drama unfolds between a grieving father and a troubled teenage girl as they drive northbound along the quiet outback roads of Australia..." There is more to it than that and when I read that I was like fuck did they watch the same film? It does mention that she doesn't know he's stopping off to kill people along the way but to be honest that is a fucking understatement.]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/2/bitch-slap.html"><rss:title>Bitch Slap</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/2/bitch-slap.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-03-02T15:01:48Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Action Bitch Slap Comedy Cult Thriller</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Fbitch-slap-movie-poster-1.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1267545098780',550,373);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5973610-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1267545131181" alt="" /></a></span></span>Now I think it's important to clear a couple of things up before we go any further into my review of Bitch Slap. On the surface Bitch Slap is pretty shit and if you're a big fan of mainstream cinema then I really wouldn't watch this and I have to add I'm sick of repeating myself on this Fuck Off from our blog you're not welcome here. Yes we like the mainstream but for fucks sake how many more uneducated pricks are there out there. I always judge a film on what it is i.e the money spent on it, the quality of the actors etc etc. An example would be Avatar. Now I thought it was a fantastic piece of cinema but for the cost that is equivalent to the debt of a third world country I wouldn't expect anything fucking less. If however you strip away it's prettiness it's actually got a rather turgid storyline and as is common place in Mr Camerons films some of the dialogue is just fucking shite. You could not for example compare Avatar to John Carpenters 1974 low budget sci-fi film Dark Star although&nbsp;they're the same genre.&nbsp;I hope you simpletons therefore understand that I will judge a low budget film on it's merits compared to other low budget films and not to a multi million dollar film.]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/1/from-paris-with-love.html"><rss:title>From Paris With Love</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/3/1/from-paris-with-love.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-03-01T13:35:00Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Action Comedy From Paris With Love John Travolta Jonathan Rhys Meyers Pierre Morel Taken Thriller</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2FFromParisWithLove-459x600.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1267461373455',600,459);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5959254-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1267461382210" alt="" /></a></span></span>Unless you live in a box under a motorway flyover you'll know that John Travolta catapulted to fame in the 70's with the likes of Carrie, Saturday Night Fever and Grease but by the late 80's the roles had dried up and come 1993 he'd completed the worst fucking trilogy known to man with those fucking shite films with talking babies in. When Tarantino cast him in Pulp Fiction Travolta was once more on the fame bandwagon and began to make good films again. Of course since he raped the arse of the world with that bollocks about Scientology his career has been up and down. Now From Paris With Love is no classic by any means but fuck me it's good to see the man enjoying himself again and From Paris With Love is the first ridiculous fun film of 2010.]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/26/legion.html"><rss:title>Legion</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/26/legion.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-02-26T09:32:46Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Action Dennis Quaid Fantasy Horror Kevin Durand Legion Lucas Black Paul Bettany Tyrese Gibson</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Flegion_movie_poster.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1267178888116',480,371);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5922245-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1267178891638" alt="" /></a></span></span>Well I've just finished my daily visit to the gym and after sweating like the Snake did in the Sasha Grey interview I thought it was about fucking time that I did a review. Being generally a lazy shit who recently has found it difficult to tear himself away from his PS3 I knew that I'd been letting the side down so I promise a few reviews in the next few days but I'm kicking off with human vs angels action flick Legion. Now lets get it&nbsp;out of the way from the off. If you're expecting a clever piece with religious undertones that discusses the whole armageddon and God debate then you are going to be very fucking disappointed. If however you're looking for guns, explosions and an angel vs angel setpiece fight like no other then Legion is the film for you.]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/24/a-single-man.html"><rss:title>A Single Man</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/24/a-single-man.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-02-24T11:12:08Z</dc:date><dc:subject>A Single Man Colin Firth Drama Tom Ward</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Fa-single-man-poster-120small.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1267010189683',448,302);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5889798-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1267010189689" alt="" /></a></span></span>I didn't think I'd find anyone to come and see this film with me, but strangely last Wednesday I had a selection of Orange Weds partner offers. In an attempt to look vaguely straight going to see such a film, I took up the offer from an attractive lady. This being A Single Man, and the cinema being in Brighton, there are no exciting stories of chavs in the back row of the cinema shouting anything I'm afraid - it was a wholly uneventful cinema trip!</p>
<p>Anyway the film. I wanted to see this film purely because the reviews had been so positive and I have to say I'm very glad I did. Everything I'd read was true. This film is wonderful. There are two different reasons that I leave the cinema thinking films were great - far more than good. One is because I've been interested by plot, because it was intriguing / clever / exciting and interesting. The other, and reason why I loved this film, is simply because I was captivated by them, because I left with a feeling of wow! The last film to do this so well was There Will Be Blood. So many times in both I was just watching enthralled by a beautiful emotional scenes.</p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/4/ninja-assassin.html"><rss:title>Ninja Assassin</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/2/4/ninja-assassin.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-02-04T17:21:22Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Absolute Bollocks Action James McTeigue Martial Arts Ninja Assassin Rain Warchowskis</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Fninja-assassin-one-sheet.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1265305654264',581,389);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5629160-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1265305670847" alt="" /></a></span></span>I'm sure we all remember those formative years of our childhood when we dreamt of being actors, astronauts, doctors or rather unusually in my case a Ninja. That's right people between the ages of around ten and fourteen I wanted to be a fucking Ninja. Actually fuck it I still do. I put this down to an old babysitter who got me into Kung Fu films and the time we sat up and watched a fuzzy VHS copy of&nbsp;Enter The Ninja starring Ninja legend Sho Kosugi. The year was 1981 and since then I've had a bit of an obsession with the shadowy assassins. I can't lie I was really looking forward to Ninja Assassin and the fact it's directed by James McTeigue who gave us the excellent if slightly flawed V For Vendetta added to that. Fucking Ninjas on the big screen! What could go wrong? Well fucking everything actually.]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/21/the-book-of-eli.html"><rss:title>The Book Of Eli</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/21/the-book-of-eli.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-01-21T19:21:44Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Action Adventure Denzel Washington Gary Oldman Science Fiction The Book Of Eli</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Fbook%20of%20eli%20denzel%20washington.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1264102067595',720,494);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5024890-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1264102070731" alt="" /></a></span></span>Do you know what you fuckers? Fuck Off Film ruins my cinema going experience for the first 15 mins every time, because I've always seen all the trailers here. It used to be exciting - Oooh I wonder what's coming up? But now that I've seen all the trailers before on FOF it's boring and I talk through them. Mainly to annoy people who haven't seen them, because they should be reading this fucking Blog!</p>
<p>So Book of Eli. Well having seen the road, a lot of this film is very similar. There are grey scenes of concrete roadways that end abruptly, streets filled with the carcasses of cars, gangs on the rampage, houses in the middle of nowhere etc etc. But the look and feel of this is far more like that of a music video. Shots of Denzel looking cool like Kanye against the steely sky are common and when he unleashes that blade it often plays out like something on MTV! The trailer gives you a hint of the action you're in for, but you're very aware that the directors want to make it look cool as well as post apocalyptic, which was not the case in The Road.</p>]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/11/sherlock-holmes.html"><rss:title>Sherlock Holmes</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/11/sherlock-holmes.html</rss:link><dc:creator>drunkenmaster</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-01-11T08:00:00Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Action Adventure Guy Ritchie Jude Law Mark Strong Robert Downey Jnr Sherlock Holmes</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Frobert-downey-guy-ritchie-sherlock-holmes-2009.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1263207306909',768,500);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5331637-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1263207311418" alt="" /></a></span></span>Ok so I said I was taking a bit of time out but what can I say? The lure of the keyboard was too much? I missed you bunch of cheery fuckers? Actually the reality is it makes me fucking feel better and right fucking now I don't feel fucking good at all and where the fuck is there another fucking blog where you can fucking swear as much as you fucking well bollocks want to and you fuckers actually think it's fucking literature! Anyway back to the film. I can't lie I rarely visit fucking cinemas in school holidays. The very thought of sharing a room with a bunch of skinny kids wearing My Chemical Romance t-shirts or fat spotty chavs in those fucking silly tucked in tracksuits makes me want to fucking hurt people. Teenagers are what set off my Hulk rage. I actually wanted to go watch Avatar but that's a trip to MK and that's a hundred times fucking worse.]]></content:encoded></rss:item><rss:item rdf:about="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/6/blood-the-last-vampire.html"><rss:title>Blood: The Last Vampire</rss:title><rss:link>http://www.fuckofffilm.com/movie-and-film-reviews/2010/1/6/blood-the-last-vampire.html</rss:link><dc:creator>Hollow Snake</dc:creator><dc:date>2010-01-06T12:13:32Z</dc:date><dc:subject>Action Blood: The Last Vampire Horror Martial Arts</dc:subject><content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class="thumbnail-image-float-left ssNonEditable"><span><a href="javascript:showFullImage('/display/ShowImage?imageUrl=%2Fstorage%2Fblood.jpg%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1262780164145',754,520);"><img src="http://www.fuckofffilm.com/storage/thumbnails/2477512-5264186-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1262780169478" alt="" /></a></span></span>Saya (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0432428/" target="_blank">Gianna Jun</a>), a 400-year-old, half-human, half-vampire samurai, working for a secret society called The Council, is sent to a school on an American military base in Tokyo to track-down, and kill, Onegin (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0468746/" target="_blank">Koyuki</a>), the demon that killed her father.]]></content:encoded></rss:item></rdf:RDF>