A Nightmare On Elm Street
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 03:04PM ;)
The modern audience has completely fucking ruined the horror film. My favourite genre is sinking into a hole the size of the Grand canyon and I'm getting fucked off with it. Thankfully Asia and Europe are still providing some choice cuts but Hollywood is ruining every fucking classic known to man. A Nightmare On Elm Street is yet another example of how a classic has been bound and gagged and butt fucked by a bunch of preening producers, talentless script writers and pretty twenty somethings with the acting skills of a spider monkey. I fucking love Wes Cravens original and upon its release I remember being genuinely scared of the horrifically scarred Freddy who hunts and kills the children of Elm Street in their dreams and in awe of the originality of it. So how do you remake a classic.
What you could do is send it in a different direction with some original ideas or do a Dawn Of The Dead type update and make it fucking awesome or you could just change all the things that made Kruger a horror icon and turn him into something about as frightening as a basket full of fucking kittens. I'll touch more on this shortly. So this remake is pretty much a formulatic trip through the motions of the original as the teens of Elm Street begin to die in their sleep and struggle to stay awake. As Nancy (not as pretty as the original Nancy) and her friends delve into the mystery of why they're being hunted down in their dreams they discover that their parents murdered a school gardener some years ago after discovering he was a paedophile. They chase him down and set him on fire. A fucking paedophile. Come on fuckers Kruger's a killer not a fucking molester. It adds to the fact that the film makes no fucking sense.
Once again the modern audience needs it all in front of them so they can have a reason for the character. We didn't really know that much in the original which added to the mystery. Now back to Freddy who in all fairness reminded me of Simon Weston. Englunds Freddy was nasty with a devilish streak where as this new one is just a joke. Look I'm not going to write anymore about this but I must stop going to watch these fucking remakes. In a word bollocks and avoid like a large dog foaming at the mouth.
I'd Rather Fuck A Donkey In The Ass out of 5
Reader Comments (1)
No surprises there then.