Alice In Wonderland

Why is it that every 3D film is so popular that it takes ages to seat everyone and they keep the sound down and lights up for the fucking trailers. I look forward to seeing those trailers on the big screen especially in 3D. But you can't see shit with the lights on. Start letting people in earlier you twats so I can watch the trailers in peace.

Right. Alice in 3D from Tim Burton - on paper that alone means this film will be awesome. Unluckily it wasn't to be so. It's a shame because I'm a big Tim Burton fan and don't think he's done much wrong really in the past, but this film is a real let down.

For those of you who don't know the film is set when Alice is 19 and has forgotten all about her first adventure in Wonderland (sorry Underland). She's set to be married off and doesn't like it one bit, for she is an independent dreamer and our heroine. Faced with a proposal from a dull toff she runs away, follows and rabbit and falls down a hole - all very familiar territory here - we continue with the Drink Me / Eat Me business and we're in the wonderful looking Underland.

Now this is the bit of the film that Burton does very well - Underland LOOKS amazing. It's beautiful in places, decrepit in others, but always looks wonderful and the merging of CGI and real footage is great. The adjustments on the characters - sometimes subtle with the Hatter's eyes and sometimes larger with the Queen's head are perfectly done. The Jabberwocky is pretty awesome too.

So what's wrong with the film? Well the story and characters really. The plot although in theory is strong (Alice must save Underland) it has little direction and is just a random sequence of scenes featuring all the characters randomly popping up everywhere. The characters don't really have any development and I couldn't tell if Burton was trying to touch on more serious issues with the Hatter's madness - if so it didn't really work. Madness seems to be portrayed as being Scottish bench drunkards throughout. The Queen, although great, is a direct rip-off of Miranda Richardson's Queeny from Black Adder, lisp and spoiled child antics intact. It was just all a bit of a mess really. There should have been a proper drive and sense that Underland was under threat and build up to Alice saving the day, but it doesn't really happen. And the final battle really is underwhelming. Again, it looks good, but doesn't have the epic sense of "Final Battle" that you'd expect when the entire film has been building up to it.

If you are going to see this film - make sure you see it at the cinema, because it does look great and I'm sure it will lose lots on the small screen. Anyway I'm off to play the game for the DS - which is brilliant.

A Burton of a disappointment out of 10.