RocknRolla

If there is one thing I hate, apart from people who think Keanu Reeves can fucking act, its going to the cinema and seeing a trailer before a film that just makes you want to see that instead of what you're there to see. Normally I manage to get in just as the film is about to start and miss the fucking things but bugger shit I caught the new Bond trailer and it just fucking rocked. Sadly I can't say the same about Ritchie's latest effort. Don't get me wrong it's OK, but he's just well in his comfort zone. Lock Stock was fucking awesome which he then remade, sorry followed with Snatch which was just the dogs fucking danglies. Here the trouble really fucking lies. You see Ritchie obviously has fucking talent. He uses the camera well, has sharp dialogue but he's now starting to appear to be a bit of a one trick pony. I'm sure many will disagree but so fucking what, you don't know fuck all anyway. You've been found out Ritchie, so stop wearing the fucking stupid hats and make another great movie.

The story revolves around several characters who are all connected through a tale involving a property deal. London gangster Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson) and a football club owning Russian billionaire Uri (Fuck me this guy is Abramovich, really watch it and see) meet to cement a dodgy property deal in which Uri lends Lenny his lucky painting. Of course the painting is promptly stolen and Lenny's right hand man Archie (a fucking superb Mark Strong) is assigned to get it back. The RocknRolla of the story is Lenny's stepson Johnny Quid a crack addict rock star who's faked his own death. Toby Kebbell who plays him is fucking good in this and plays the crackhead well. Having known a few drug addled individuals in my time he is pretty fucking convincing. So it has to be said are the rest of the cast and their strange names. You might ask then why the tepid response to the film. The truth is we've FUCKING SEEN IT ALL BEFORE!!!! RocknRolla is your usual London gangster affair, stolen goods, owed money, gang boss feeding twats to animals, it's fucking crayfish in this one. What the fuck next gerbils in berets.

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Thandie Newman provides the sex and Gerard Butler a bit more sex, in more ways than you might guess. Part of the storyline is to do with a gay character. I just sat there and although I did enjoy parts and walked out thinking it wasn't bad upon reflection there was something not quite fucking right. The story is the same as every other Ritchie movie and I know some will say but thats what he does but for fucks sake try something different. Yes Swept Away was an absolute fucking disaster but I fucking loathe Titanic (3 hours when you know the ending, what is the fucking point of that?) but I don't think Cameron is a shit director. Sherlock Holmes is next for Ritchie and I fucking pray its not just Sherlock Holmes and The Two Smoking Barrels.

So RocknRolla was a bit of fun but I'd rather just watch Snatch again or cut off my fingers with a cigar cutter than keep sitting through the same film over and over with different actors. Generally the critics loved this and tell you Ritchie is back with a bang but sadly its more of a whimper. RocknRolla? More boyband.

A decent film but you'd rather knock one out over internet porn out of 5.

Comments

[RobT]

Ahhh Thandie Newman, she's right up there with my other favourite actress Salma Hijack

[drunkenmaster]

And the lovely Micheal Pfeiffer.