Batman The Dark Knight Review

Click to enlargeAhhhh man, fucking hell, I so wanted to love this, I honestly fucking did, I know I am a foul mouthed shit sprayer but I don't hate every film, I just don't give positive reviews to shit films because they advertise on my site, though I don't have anyone to advertise on my site, probably cause I talk shit, well fuck you advertisers, fuck you and fucking fuck off.

I was so excited to see this film that I ordered me and wench tickets for the deluxe screen at Shitty World in Milton Keynes, I even ordered the new Fanta Twist split cup which gives you both flavors for £3.95. Actually while I am on the point, we ordered a Coke, a Fanta Twist, popcorn and nachos with cheese, it all came to £15.55, you fucking what??? You fucking rip off berks, I hope your mum hates you more than I do, berk faces.

Anyway the disappointment that is Batman The Dark Knight, well its good and bad, which I have now termed Gad. This film is gad, why?

Good

1. Heath Ledger is every bit as good as you have heard, he is better than the love child of Fanta Twist and Revels. Oh yeah and Revels are running an eviction on their website, get rid of those coffee wankers as you can't tell if they are the orange ones, pricks.
2. The film is grim, but grim in a good way, loads of really bad shit happens to loads of people, its fucking gruesome and there are good surprises.

Bad

1. It is way too fucking long, over 2 and a half hours. There really is no need to make these films so fucking long. What the fuck is it with these directors now where every film has to give you bum ache.
2. Click to enlargeThe plot is muddled, the film starts well enough but soon it just drifts from scene to scene and you have no idea where it is fucking going.
3. Batman's voice is fucking stupid, I know it is there to disguise the fact that Batman is Bruce Wayne but fucking hell come on, he sounds like Barry White.

You must see the film though just to see Heath Ledger as the Joker, I mean it, if you don't I'll find you and give you a Chinese burn and get Heath the haunt your ass. Gary Oldman is great too but Morgan Freeman is the same fucker he has played in every film since the Shawshank Redemption.

Good but don't believe the hype out of 5.

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Other reviews of Batman The Dark Knight

Rotten Tomotoes Batman The Dark Knight Review
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Total Film Batman The Dark Knight Review

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Other links for Batman The Dark Knight

Batman The Dark Knight official website
Batman The Dark Knight IMDb page
Batman The Dark Knight Wikipedia page

Christian Bale IMDb page
Christian Bale Wikipedia page
Heath Ledger IMDb page
Heath Ledger Wikipedia page

Comments

[Jimmy G]

Hi - I would just like to agree with every word of your review. I really enjoyed the film, however every point you made I agree with wholeheartedly.
Keep the real shit coming.

JimmyG

[Mr Fuck Off]

Thanks shit head

[RobT]

I'm finally going to see this tonight, about fucking time or what.

If this review is spot on though, i'm coming back here to say your review is shit anyway... cos that's how I roll.

Also.. have Madame Tussaurds made a waxwork of Ledger yet? if not, they better put a working ass on it, cos that puppy is going to get drilled.

[Mr Fuck Off]

Dude, you are well entitled to come back and call my review shit, I would just be happy that you are coming back.

Notice I havent said that the film is bad, it is bloody good, not as good as Kindergarten Cop but its not the best film ever like some overexcited reviews have stated.

What you won't be able to disagree is that it is half an hour too long, the final act with the boat is pointless and Batman's voice is shit. The plot is muddled and I fucking right about that.

[RobT]

Forgot to report back!

Couple of points:

1. The voice IS dumb. The only people that come into contact with both (Batman & Bruce) OFTEN and thus might notice the similarity between them, happens to be the only people who KNOW HE'S FUCKING BATMAN ANYWAY. It's like me putting my childhood Spiderman pajama's on, running around the house with a deep voice so that my housemates don't know it's me, which they do. Because I told them.

2. It IS too long. I enjoyed the boat scene however, although it was totally predicable that the Cons would be honerable and the office c*nts would be.... well... office c*nts. (For the record I would have blown the other fucks up in a heartbeat, before he'd finished the instructions!)

What I found pointless was introducing Two Face, the film didn't need another bad buy. The Joker was doing a great job on his own. Sure the Harvey Dent charactor needed introducing, but they could have HINTED (like they did with the coin) and saved it for the next film.

I'm a little worried the next film will be 9 hours long and have 23 villans, Batman will sound like a Speak & Spell and Rachel Dawes will actually change actress DURING the film 3 times.

ps.

Dawn of the Dead 2004 is the best film ever. Zack Snyder WHERE ARE YOU? I WANT MY FUCKING SEQUAL.

Rob

[Mr Fuck Off]

Dude you should have just written a fucking review,

Dawn Of The Dead does rock