Wall-E Film Review
Thursday, July 24, 2008 at 02:54PM 
This feels a bit weird, clearly my site is of adult content but now I am about to write a review for a kids film. I have started getting traffic from Google so what should I do? Imagine some kid or church going parent was to search for a review and stumble upon my site. I have split loyalties, well fuck you, fucking fuck you, fucking fuck you you fucking fucker of a fuck face, I want you to get the ebola virus in your face.
I have a child, he is 'Little Bastard', I have a girlfriend, she is 'Wench', we go and see every fucking kids film there is, every good, bad or ugly fucking kids film that gets into the cinema. Most are shit and an excuse to eat really expensive snacks and have a snooze, some are brilliant. The brilliant ones tend to always come from Pixar, the others are from retarded wanna be studios.
Look at PIxar's track record, Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Cars, Ratatouille, The Incredibles, Monsters Inc and a Bugs Life. Everyone is genius. Entertaining for children and nearly as consistently funny as Hale & Pace.
So Wall-E, the cleanup robot dude Johnny 5 Short Circuit rip off. You know who Johnny 5 is right? No, you cock, I fucking hate you, I hate you with all the piss in my body. Go and watch the original trailer featuring Steve Guttenberg who for some stupid fucking reason didnt get an Oscar.
Wall-E is the last robot on earth, his job is to clear up all the mess us fuckers have left behind. Like Johnny 5 though he is ALIVE, he doesn't just function he is ALIVE, he wants to dance and he wants to get laid, he is a robot but he is a man. Wall-E's problem is that he is all alone on the earth until some psycho bitch robot called Eve arrives from a big fuck off space rocket to check out what is going down on Earth. Eve is a bitch, a frigid bitch, the more Wall-E tries to get some loving the more she backs off and when Wall-E gives her a flower she takes it and fucks off. Bitch bitch whore.
Click to enlarge
Wall-E doesnt give up the chase though, he follows her to the mothership which is inhabited by fat small limb unable to walk humans. Technology has evolved us humans into proper lazy bastards who have no need to walk anymore. I fell asleep at this point and missed about 10 minutes, not because the film was shit but because I was fucking knackered.
This film is a love story but an environment story, which I pretty much ignored because I have had about as much as I can fucking take about the environment. It is though testament to Pixar that they can keep an audience so entertained with such little dialogue, the first half hour has no talking at all.
Any moans, well the story was full of fucking holes. How did the mothership keep refueled when in flight for generations. If set so far in the future why can't the robot properly talk? Seriously dudes, fucking think about these things.
Anyway it fucking rocks, best pixar since Toy Story.
Inappropriately fucking brilliant out of 5
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Other reviews of Wall-E
Rotten Tomotoes Wall-E Review
Channel 4 Wall-E Review
Timeout Wall-E Review
Empire Online Wall-E Review
Total Film Wall-E Review
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Other links for Wall-E
Wall-E official websiteWall-E IMDb page
Wall-E Wikipedia page
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