So anyway what is so fucking great about about Kindergarten Cop? Everything!
Arnie: "We're going to play a wonderful game called...”Who is my daddy and what does he do?"
Some pricks have questioned why I love this film so much, they think it is a stupid film but they have completely missed the point. I love this film for the same reason I love Con Air even though it has Donkey Cock. You see Kindergarten Cop is not just a comedy about some big dude who goes to work with kids it is about The Terminator going to be a Kindergarten teacher.
Arnie: "I'm the party pooper."
When the film was made Arnie had a fuck load of Kudos, he had made loads of action films and then the comedy Twins but where Twins had Arnie playing a comedy role, Kindergarten Cop had Arnie
playing his hard ass from previous movies. Okay he does have his softer side here but the film works because he is this big scary bad ass.
Arnie: "There *is* no bathroom!"
The story follows Arnie as Detective John Kimble who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to find a drug dealer. Arnie really struggles with the kids early on as he has no patience to deal with them but as the film progresses he forms a really tight bond with his class.
Arnie: "It's not a tumor!"
Arnie is often an easy target as people rip into his acting but he is totally brilliant in this film and no one could have played the role better. Vin Diesel tried to do it as The Pacifier but just got it all wrong.
Arnie: "SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! "
I saw the film as a kid but as I got older I loved it more and I am going to see down with the little bastard this weekend and watch it with him.
Arnie: "You mean you eat other people's lunches?"
The film is the main reason I love Arnie so much, you see he has achieved so much, world champion bodybuilder, a-list Hollywood actor, Governor for California and all round ladies man. You could say he is my hero. I still don't understand why he did not get an Oscar for this over Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves. Arnie did though win the Blimp Award at the Kinds Choice Awards.
Arnie: "Stop whining! You kids are soft. You lack discipline. Well, I've got news for you. You are mine now. You belong to me."
Best Arnie film out of 5