Johnny says it best...
Friday, September 25, 2009 at 09:44AM 
I logged on this Friday morning hoping to find some wonderful and exciting movie news for my Fuck Off brothers and sisters. However, not only is there fuck all interesting out there, what there is involves nothing but remakes and re-imaginings. I'm getting tired of this shit, so from now on, you can write your own fucking stories using this helpful template: (*fill in or delete as appropriate)
Today (*studio name) has announced that they will be (*remaking/rebooting/ruining) the (*book/comic/film/TV show/fucking boardgame) starring Shia LaBeouf, with Brett Ratner (c'mon, it's fucking always Brett Ratner!) attached to direct, for a (*enter date) release. This film (*will/will not) be in 3D.
So, here's a list of films you can start with. Oh, and these are just the ones that have been reported THIS FUCKING WEEK!:
Scanners, Short Circuit, American Werewolf In London, Spy Kids 4, Scream 4, The Fly, Halloween 3, Highlander, and Shelock Holmes 2.
Add to that the one's we already knew about:
Hellraiser, Predator 3, Alien 5, Rambo 5, Escape From New York, They Live, Children Of The Corn, Total Recall, Robocop, Evil Dead 4, Nightmare On Elm Street, Suspiria, The Thing, Gremlins 3, and The Karate Kid...the list goes on!
Just FUCK OFF already! You tell 'em, Johnny...!
Reader Comments (6)
Kinda excited about Scream 4 haha... I saw the first one 8 times in the cinema!! haha oh dear
Scream was a fine film and was kind of a parody of Hollywoods approach to horror. Sadly the thick fuckers never noticed and still churn out the shit. 8 times does seem a bit excessive though.
PS Snake you forgot Cannibal Holocaust. Shoot me now.
I think my opinion on this has been made known. Good summary of how lame the studios are from the Snake though!
You forgot Inside Man 2 ...
Yeah, I also forgot 'Ghost Rider 2', 'Daredevil 2' and 'Silver Surfer'....too many to fucking mention – like Pokemon, can't catch 'em all!
What the fuck. a second Daredevil film. Fuck me that's not good news.