Sunday, July 5, 2009 at 10:51AM ;)
I've spent the last few days in hospital. I'm not going to go into details as to why because basically it's none of your fucking business. I can assure you though that it has nothing to do with my cock or its surrounding areas. Before my admittance to the care of the NHS (they get a hard time but they were superb as always) I had the displeasure of seeing Angels And Demons.
Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 11:36AM As you may have guessed, we're a little fucked up here at FOF (especially me and Drunkenmaster) but the storyline of Deadgirl surprises even me. It follows Rickie and JT, who discover the animated remains of a dead girl in the basement of an abandoned mental hospital and decide to keep her as their own sexual play-thing...if that doesn't say "fucked up!" nothing does! Check out the trailer courtesy of BloodyDisgusting and weep at its depravity.
Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 11:06AM 
That's it, we might have hit bottom! Universal Pictures are rumored to have won a bidding war to pick up the film rights to Atari's 1979 videogame classic, Asteroids. For the full story go to FirstShowing but I wouldn't fucking bother because it's retarded.
The only reason I bring it up is because it's a glimmer of hope in a world gone tits up. Bear with me...they're not so much scraping the barrel on this one, more wringing out a crack-whores bed sheets at the end very busy shift. But surely we can't get any lower than adapting a wire-frame game from the 70s and if we've hit bottom then at least we'll be able to build from the ground up from now on. This might just signal the cultural shift that'll drag us out of the horrible shit-storm of Hollywood diarrhea we currently find ourselves in.
Great fucking game though, click the picture to play and bask in its glory.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 10:01AM Guess what fuckers? There's a shit-load of trailers today...here's the best:
Inglorious Basterds – the other trailers have all been brilliant, but a little serious. This one just looks like a fucking laugh!
The Informant – Steven Soderbergh's new flick looks pretty fucking funny too. It's about time he made another decent film, it's been far too long.
Couples Retreat – not quite as funny, but with Vaughn and Favreau back together AND Jason Bateman, there could be some badass comedy gold going on here. Plus, it's got the unfeasibly hot Malin Ackerman (Watchmen's Silk Spectre) in it. Just hope it doesn't end up being too girlie.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009 at 09:21AM FOF regular and altogether right royal pain in the fucking ass, Jimmy G, posted a link to the new Martin Scorsese film, Shutter Island, in a comment on Drunkenmaster's review of the Last House On The Left remake (check out his review here). But undoubtedly, none of you water-headed mongoloids have probably taken the time to watch it so I'm posting it up here because it fucking rocks! Scorsese does Hitchcock! Cheers Jimbo...
Monday, June 29, 2009 at 02:23PM ;)
I can't believe this. It seems to getting fucking worse every fucking time I go on the internet. I thought they couldn't hurt me anymore with their remakes and then this. The Weinsteins have purchased the rights to American Werewolf In London. Remaking this is like fucking your mum. It may be acceptable in some states of the USA and Norfolk but here its just a big fucking no! There are many things that make this a classic film from Brian Glovers "Stick to the path" to the transformation to the song Blue Moon. I hope everyone involved in this wakes up with the worst kind of genital warts and a baboons arse superglued to their face. Cunts!
Monday, June 29, 2009 at 02:16PM I loved the poster and I fucking love the trailer. Throw in Ethan Hawke. Sam Neil and the most underrated actor of his generation, William Defoe and this could be great and if you're clever enough which I fucking doubt you may even pick up on the political subtext.
Monday, June 29, 2009 at 02:09PM Now I love Donnie Darko but I know its not to everyones taste but in all fairness that's probably because it doesn't feature boy wizards or big robots. Southland Tales on the other hand was just fucking strange but this new one is looking rather fucking interesting. would you press the button? I fucking would but only if it was MJ. Shit too late. Have I gone too far!
Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, The Box in Trailers Monday, June 29, 2009 at 02:03PM Following on from the pictures the other day, here's the first official Alice In Wonderland poster. Not really anything new but I just can't fucking wait.
Monday, June 29, 2009 at 12:42PM ;)
Click to enlargeUh-oh, it's another "thinky" film! And y'know what, fucking right! With all the current remake talk that's going around at the moment, coupled with a blockbuster season peppered with shit films (yeah, I'm looking at you Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen) it's about fucking time that someone brought out something that was not only original, not only mentally strenuous, but also that didn't have ridiculously attractive young people with hopes and dreams in it. In a world that's gone tits up with no sign of relief, it's comforting to know that there are people out there more fucked up than you are. None more so than Charlie Kaufman, it seems. Anyway, check out the review for Synecdoche New York.
Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 09:19PM ;)
Mr Fuck Off was supposed to write this bullshit up but he's fucking dissappeared again – for all I know he's tanning his hairy arse somewhere with a narcissistic sports-pimp, sipping G'n'Ts in his fucking smoking jacket while the rest of us are left behind looking after his shit! Well here it is, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. Read the fucking thing so I haven't wasted my poxy time writing it, it's the least you morons can do!
Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 01:08PM 
A rather kindfucker has sent me a couple of films to review and to be honest only stopped short of asking me if I wanted to see some puppies if I did this. I thank him and being the horror fan that I am was rather pleased that both films are horror. So first up is Red Mist and that will be followed in the next couple of days by Haunted Echoes which to be honest could be a bit shit but it can't be anyworse than The Uninvited or could it? Fuck it enjoy the review.
Red Mist in Film Reviews Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 09:44PM ;)
Not entirely content with remaking film after film it now seems that whilst doing a remake you must also get a lookalike for the title role. The gentleman in the picture is rumoured to be the new Conan as the studio wanted an Arnie-a-like for the reimagining. Conan is an endless universe of stories so I don't really see the point of this as to be honest you could make the fucker black and still tell a different story. Now all that will happen is people will watch and say " fuck me doesn't he look like Arnie". Its all just a great big pile of bollocks and I fucking hate it!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 09:07PM With the release of Alice In Wonderland next year I'm wondering if this could be his finest moment. I mean love him or hate him at least he has an eye for detail and the ability to keep you interested. Check out these releases from the film and fuck me with a pitchfork if he hasn't completely captured the true essence of the book. Carrols' Alice In Wonderland is one of my favourite all times books and I always thought the adaptations so far were a little sugary sweet which the book is not. See the image below and then check out the rest courtesy ofthe Vancouver Sun. I know its a bit of a weird one to get them from. Things I fucking do for you lot! Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland
Alice In Wonderland, Tim Burton in News Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 08:43PM I firmly believe that the modern film company sometimes over complicates its marketing. Either they reveal too much in the trailer or they give you the big bang brash poster with so much going on that you almost lose interest upon seeing it. I stumbled across this earlier and although I've never heard of it I love the old school feel and its got me fucking interested. Now thats fucking marketing!
Daybreakers in Film Posters Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 08:27PM M.Night Shallyshit who to be honest has done nothing but disappoint since The Sixth Sense with his ridiculous stories of wind and water nymphs is looking to treat us next summer with Avator-The Last Airbender. There are far too many jokes in that title so you can watch the teaser and make your own fuckers up. Its going to be shit. You know it and I definately fucking know it.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 02:41PM This also goes under the name of Freakdog and seems to be full of tits and violence so can't really see where it can go wrong! Its from the director of Shrooms (interesting little horror flick if you haven't seen it) and it stars Arielle Kebbel from The Uninvited which was shit but she's fucking hot.
Arielle Kebbel, Red Mist in Trailers Monday, June 22, 2009 at 09:35PM I just fucking love this the more I see of it. Any other fucker think Eli Roth could steal the show though? 2009 started so well but has quickly deteriorated into the usual CGI shite so could this be the film to kick off a fucking great Autumn or Fall as the old septics call it.
Monday, June 22, 2009 at 09:25PM I know this kind of stuff doesn't interest alot of people but who fucking cares! I certainly don't and anyway stop fucking prebooking your tickets for Harry Potter and start expanding your fucking horizons.
Thirst in Film Posters Friday, June 19, 2009 at 07:40PM ;)
Yes alright I fucking know that it was inevitable that this would be shite but what do you want me to say. If I didn't fucking watch it then you would and you'd all just fucking bitch and moan about it. So don't fucking bother just read my review and then cuss me for watching it in the first place. Fuck me its like none of you ever watch bad films. Complete and utter wankers the lot of you!